In order to make myself feel better, and perhaps provide some insight to those less fortunate than myself, here are:
TEN WAYS TO BEAT THE MISERABLE MIDNIGHT HEAT
So yeah it's been like sixty-five to seventy degrees at night here, and since I live in mild, coastal Tacoma, I know it's gotta be miserable elsewhere. I hate the heat more than anybody except maybe my dad and some other generously-weighted folks. In case you're looking for some nifty tricks to stay cool at night so you're not up until three AM crying, "WHY ME?", here they are:
- SLEEP NAKED. Okay, you don't really have to be naked, but you definitely want to strip down as much as possible. I've been going commando for the last few nights, wearing nothing but thin jammy-shorts and a tank top, and I'd suggest y'all do the same. But if you're comfy in your birthday suit, that's fine with me. I'll send you a card.
- A BOWL OF ICE IS NICE. But a cat is fine, too. Seriously, though, if you have a fan in your room {because you're unfortunate enough to not have air conditioning or your parents won't share; ...hint}, get a bowl with short sides and fill it with ice and a little water. Put the bowl in front of your fan and let a cool breeze flow. I don't know how it works, but it does. My dad taught it to me.
- WATER. Don't drink soda at night, or juice; gatorade is also a no-no. Cold water is the best thing for you, because you just don't need electrolytes or sugar or caffeine that late at night and staying hydrated will cool your body off naturally.
- OPEN YOUR WINDOWS. That's right; let the burglars and rapists in! Seriously, though, you have to keep your windows open to catch a cross-breeze. Put a fan in the window sill, and it'll pull the air in. Even if it's warm air from outside, it's still fresh, and better than the soon-to-be stagnant indoor air you've got trapped inside your home. Most windows come with safety latches, so your window doesn't have to be open all the way, but I know folks that stick bits of wood or plastic in the frame so they can have the window open wider, and still eliminate the risk of potential home invaders.
- TAKE THE BLANKETS OFF. If you're like me, you have to be covered at night; at least a little. You can't even take a nap during the day if your torso isn't snuggled up against something warm. But taking the blankets off the bed and sleeping in the sheets, or sleeping on top of the blankets will drastically improve things, and still keep you cozy at night.
- PUT YOUR HAIR UP. If you have hair that touches or grows beyond your neck, sling it back in a ponytail; but don't use hairspray or product to put it up; the heat will make it smell awful and your hair will be a bitch to wash out in the morning. Just tie it back loosely so your neck can catch cool air; there's nothing worse than having a hot neck or face at night.
- GET A COOL RAG. Soak a washcloth or a little towel in cold water or wrap it around an ice pack. Keep it handy or put it on your forehead. It'll make your whole body feel a lot cooler. Just remember to wring it out so the sheets aren't wet. Ew.
- TAKE A COOL SHOWER. Before you go to bed, or if you find you can't sleep at night {even after you followed all of my awesome tips!}, take a cold shower. I'm not talking frigid and icy, just something lukewarm or cooling. If you stand under the water and shut your eyes, it'll relax your muscles and cool things down significantly. It doesn't have to be a long shower, either; just enough until you're stumbling into bed with bleary eyes again.
- WHATEVER YOU DO, AVOID YOUR FURRY FRIENDS. Sleeping with your cat or your best bud Spike in the winter might be a heartwarming prospect, but in the summer, 'warm' is the last word you want to hear before you go to sleep. Kick your cuddly compadres out for the night and make it up by slipping them a couple scraps in the morning; if they're especially pissed.
- SLEEP IN A DIFFERENT POSITION OR ROOM. Other rooms might be cooler than your own, especially if you live on the second floor of a domicile. You're out of luck if you're in an apartment, but rooms with big windows or open spaces {living rooms or a master bedroom; if you're not in it} will already be cooler. Sleeping in different positions or places in your room can help, too; if you sleep on your stomach, sleep on your back. If your back faces a window, turn around. Some people can't manage it, but if you're the kind that falls out of bed anyway, it probably won't matter that much.
So there are my ten tips for staying cool in the summer at night. I've tried all these tips over the years, and while some might not work for you, guaranteed, at least one of these will. Good luck, and no, I haven't posted pictures of my Portland excursion yet. They're on my facebook, though, so go look there.
