The woman I volunteer for asked a seven year-old boy if he was going to have a bowel movement, as a sarcastic way of saying 'Do not climb under stall doors to use the bathroom, you dipshit'.

I'm all out of money- bad

Because I bought Daria on DVD- very, very good

We have food in the house for once- except no eggs. But I'm fine with that because we have fresh strawberries and blueberry bagels.

My cat has been officially banned from the upstairs room because she climbs the window screens, for various reasons- my mother doesn't want her to break the screen, fall out and die. My dad doesn't want her to break the screen and have to pay money to replace it.

I AM BEING BAPTIZED ON SUNDAY THE TWENTY-THIRD.

Whoo!